my grandma on my dads side died tonight.

i hope she's found peace now.

feeling so high, waiting to die

i name you sleep
you name me destroyer of morning
feeling like death? well, that's okay
there's an open window never very far away.
not a dream, unreal as it seems
counting hours, counting days
counting the years since last time
you felt alive; you do all the time.

i name you sleep
you name me destroyer of morning
i know what this is; i know what we are.
we are lost. we are stars
feeling so high, waiting to die.
spent all my nights watching shadows loom
like a fugitive rummaging in my room
avoiding the light, barely alive.

hearing you leave
feelings unfound
are something that tears me down
no solace of sleep
the secret i keep
i will take control of my plan
end my time before the sun can.
bring back the morn' destroyer is born.

well i'd like to think i'm the mess you'd wear with pride.
like some empty dress on the bed you've layed out for tonight.
maybe i'll tell you sometime.

time. sometime.

and you were right.

right.
you were right.
outside, by your doorstep
in a worn out suit and tie.
i'll wait
for you to come down
where you'll find me
where we'll shine.

oh.

- i go to the barn because i like the

didn't get it.

interview seemed to go well, they seemed very pleased with everything i said. i guess if i don't get it now then it's because i don't have the experience, rather than because i made a fool of myself. and that's fair enough. it's out of my control now, but the part that i could control i did my best. got to be happy about that.

watched garden state again over the weekend - needed something kinda peaceful to watch to help overcome the hangover. since then i've been listening to iron and wine's cover of such great heights on repeat.