bye sam

so ive not been posting much lately, mainly due to everything being pretty messed up at the moment.

it was my dads funeral a couple of days ago. still doesnt seem real. so much to try and figure out, and so much stuff that needs sorting out. there were a lot of people there, which i was glad about, i think it was a nice send off. my aunty from canada was here too, she's still here infact. was nice to get to see and speak to her, even if it was under bad circumstances.

i hope youre ok now dad

dad's house

started clearing my dad's house this morning

im in a 'making short posts' mood

everything is fucked

as the title suggests.


everything is fucked


†

Engagements

My friend who I went to high school and college with dropped by today with an invitation to his engagement party. Man, it's crazy to think that he will be married soon. He said he only turned 22 the other week and already he's starting to feel much older than everyone else. I laughed and joked that he would be looking for houses and dishwashing machines on a Saturday afternoon soon.

He and his fiancee have been together for, must be near 4 or 5 years now, and they always seem happy together. I wish them the best of luck for the future. I've got a couple of weeks before the party. I need to get them an engagement present. Argg dunno what to get. Ideas?

mod idea

been so bored lately. you know when nothing seems to have any point to it, and when you start out something and then a couple of hours later you are completely bored and de-motivated by it. well, im in one of those stages. i need to model something because i can feel myself getting out of practise. not only that, but i want to feel like i've achieved something again. the other night (i think it was last night infact) the clouds of alcohol cleared long enough for me to get an idea for a mod.

i've had a couple of ideas for models that i wanted to make recently, and then i got this mod idea, and it seemed perfect because i could tie all those models into it. perhaps it's not so much a full mod, more of a single level demo, but the game we worked on earlier this year has had over 1,000 downloads and that was a single level affair, so maybe it would be worth taking this forward. im not sure at the moment.

i think im gonna start getting a concept doc and gdd together (after 3 years of doing this kinda thing at uni its not so much a big deal). i guess the biggest things i have to consider are 1) validity - whether this idea is water tight enough to justify the amount of work that i will have to put into it (im guestimating that it will be at least a couple of months, hopefully would be ready before christmas if i got started soon though). and 2 - whether to try and talk to some guys from uni about it, or whether it's something that i am able to cope with myself. i'm very conscious of the scope of what i can achieve, and i think really there isn't anything too taxing in the design. i just dont want to be too close to everything to not be able to see which things need improving, or cutting out all together.

i have a friend who is a really great level designer. im planning on talking to him about it, maybe bounce a few ideas around. i dunno, maybe i will get bored of this idea and ditch it in a couple of days too.

can our bodies tell the time?

something weird happened this morning that made me wonder about time, and whether we have inbuilt clocks...

last sunday i woke up at 6.45am. i sat up and looked back down at L (very cool way to start the day). she had her eyes closed, blonde hair spilling over the pillow.

today, a week later, i woke up at 6.45am. and this is what got me wondering. see, i can understand that if you get up at the same time everyday, then after a while you dont need an alarm, you just kinda wake up at that time automatically.

however, i dont have a regular getting up time, hell i dont even have a regular sleep pattern, and havent had for ooooh about 6 months or so. just seems a bit weird that 2 sundays in a row i would wake up at the same time, when every other day i wake up a lot lot later.

maybe it was just coincidence. ive already written about how coincidence scares me though. perhaps we have some kind of clock built into our bodies. but how would that work? time is man made (i mean its man who decided that a unit of time called an hour equals 60 minutes, that a unit of time called a minute equals 60 seconds etc) so how can bodies pick up on that?

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well that made more sense inside my head earlier today. no, it really did honest.

card woes

so, it turns out that a 256mb ATI card with the latest drivers can't handle 3ds max - kept making it crash. hell, turns out it couldn't even browse the net properly. (im thinking WTF???) so i've gone back to a 128mb nvidia card with older drivers which can handle 3ds max AND browse the net and do pretty much anything else i ask it. (im thinking nvidia > ATI)

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had a telephone interview a few days ago, they sent me an email yesterday inviting me to a face to face interview next thursday, and i got all the forms i need to fill in today. it's not what i went to uni to train to do, but i guess it is money...if i get it...