Trying.

Just stop trying, there's no point in fighting a losing battle. Just give up. I think about how when you were my age you had already had your breakdown. You always seemed so strong, always able to get on with things. We don't talk about that though. I'm going to drink now because it doesn't hurt when you're drunk, you don't even feel it, which can be dangerous cos you can go too far. If there is a too far.

I was thinking about the smell of her room the other day too. Always smelt really nice when you walked in. I miss it.