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So it's time to pick up the shards of another shattered dream. Great. Self loathing is pathetic but when it's what everyone else thinks maybe it's easier to think the same too. God knows you've never been perfect. Count the friends you had three hours ago, and count them again now. You can't blame them for getting out. They shouldn't have to put up with this. So you've wrecked something that was really special to you. Well done. If only you hadn't said anything. See what you need to do is take your feelings and squeeze them into a really tight ball, and then push them really deep inside, and when ever they look like surfacing you need to push ever harder, and when more feelings are added to the ball and it gets bigger and bigger; yeah you're gonna have to push a fuck of a lot harder then.

You were worried about loosing her...well no need to worry anymore eh? Well played. No need to worry about that happening anymore seeing as you just went and wrecked every single fucking thing. Really, well done. Better to push someone away than have her drift away right? At least then it's your fault for being miserable. You're an idiot, you really are. You've read into things - too much - and you've taken things in a way that they were never meant. You've made yourself believe in something that doesn't exist, something that will never exist. You're a fucking idiot. So it's time to put up those walls and close people out, because that way you're not going to imagine things, and you're not going to be hurt when they don't come true.

Hemingway said "Got tight last night....Did knife tricks"