its nicer being nice

it wasnt nice. she'd had a bad day at work and i was my usual cuntish self and it ended up in being horrible to each other. i shouldnt of got so pissed off, its just i have a short temper at the best of times, and ive only been getting about 3 hours sleep a night.

im one of those people that need at least 7 or 8 to even function like a normal person. so i should of stayed calm, but i just couldnt help myself.

another reason to add to my 'why im a bad person' list, ive got so many reasons now, maybe ill post them up sometime.

it wasnt nice being horrible to each other.

it is nice being nice to each other though, so thats good. it was actually really fun. really really fun.

i hope the being nice thing lasts, because its so much better than being horrible.

i should have been a lot more grateful.

to be honest i cant blame her. i admire her for sticking it out as long as she did. but at the end of the day we all have to cut our losses at somepoint. i cant blame her.

i might sound sarcastic, but i hope she's happier. i really do. with all the sincerity that i can convey through typed words. no one has a perfect life right, but she deserves so much, so i hope she can find that. i think really i should apologise for taking up so much of her attention for so long.

but its nice to be nice to each other and i dont want to piss her off again like i did before.

so for once im going to keep my fucking stupid mouth shut. if i dont say anything i cant fuck things up any worse than they aready are right? that's what im hoping anway.

knowing me though no doubt i will find a way.